Year: 2008

Quote from George Weinberg.

In the long past, that has left us behind of coldly and abruptly – look, there it goes again! – one of my closer friends pointed out that he had noticed that I seemed to be uncomfortable with anything gay-related.

The eventual recognition that he was right (was in the past tense!) made a big difference in how I approach people in general – and how I am able to develop relationships with anyone at all, regardless of some small little factoid like their sexual orientation.

Now, I know that my mom will probably end up reading this and freak out – and to answer that unspoken question: No, Mom, I’m not gay.

But I am getting over the cultural background and societal hangups that have been driven into my brain, as here in the USA I have friends and acquaintances from all places, shapes, colors, types, beliefs and they are all my friends.

I think it really drove home when a friend of mine invited me over to a dinner at her place, and told me that a couple of her friends would be there too. It took me all about 4 second from being introduced to figure out that they were a couple, and the  next thought that flitted through my head was, “Aww… they are so cute together.” That reaction was so new to me, and it allowed me to step outside myself for a moment and recognize the shift in what used to be and what just was.

There’s no denying that people are different – and sometimes we are taught that those differences are: bad, threatening, wrong, impure, and many other tags. The difference is that today, when meeting someone where any of those possible tags apply, I try to see beyond that, and get to know them for who they are, not for their tags.

Now, I totally understand that religions and belief systems be what they be – and that some are more restrictive than others. Some have more rules and don’t recognize the authority of others – similar as they may be in the baseline requirements, but nowhere near the same ideas and ideals. I can only really speak from the Judaism perspective, as I have only begun to meet Christians, Catholics and they have about as much inter-categorization as Judaism does. So we’re all in a messy place where we have all these lines drawn, and terminology doesn’t really work across these boundaries. For instance, if I told my folks and their community that a friend of mine is studying to be a rabbi – what’s the initial reaction? I don’t know – maybe a question about what yeshiva or rav they are studying with, etc. But bring in the fact that my friend is a woman… Regardless of how learned, pious or God-fearing she might be, the status of “rabbi” would never be recognized in that circle.

This planet is too small and crowded for us to continue to find out new and improved ways to dislike each other. If you don’t like the way I dress, look, act, smell, speak, tell me so. Tell ME so. Don’t hold it in and take it home with you and figure out which tag or label to assign that fault to – and then associate that fault with someone else. Treat me as me – an individual. Not just a sum of labels and tags.

Thanks for listening.

So today was the first day I actually tried to deal with food.

Last night, after the gym, I went shopping, and bought some yummy-looking, low-fat stuff and planned for three days worth of eating breakfast, dinner and two small snacks. Lunch is typically a fresh salad with a bit of lite dressing from somewhere around the office, or some steamed vegetables over brown rice at the Chinese restaurant in the area.

I actually had to force myself to eat breakfast, as it’s not something I normally do – the morning is more of a “get out the door” time, or “check your emails” time, but not really a sit down and eat time.

I then snacked on a little lite sandwich at around 11, and ate a late salad lunch at 2:30. Afternoon snack was a yummy Nature Valley bar, and for dinner I used the oven – not the microwave! Finally! – to heat up a more-than-delicious dinner from Amy’s Kitchen. While it was heating, I got to preparing a simple mixed lettuce, red pepper, tomato and radish salad – and I had forgotten how simple and delicious that can be.

So dinner has me completely filled to the gills – not hungry at all – in fact feel a little stuffed -  in a fairly low caloric content for the day. That’s what I call a good day’s eating. So let’s see how this plays out – especially since I have a workout early tomorrow morning.

Wish me luck!

First off, let me open by thanking you all for writing back with your thoughts, comments and methods of weight loss and lifestyles.

It’s been very insightful, having people write here on the site, as well as comments on Facebook, as well as direct emails. I’ll look into all of these, and probably make up my own combination, as long as it makes sense to me.

In more exciting news, I took my New York State Department of Motor Vehicles Road Test, and guess what? I passed!

For the first time in my life, I am a licensed driver of a four-wheeled vehicle class, and the only thing I want to do isnow apply for a motorcycle license. It’s a little backwards here – you have to get the Class D (automobile) before you can add the Class M (vroom! vroom!) to it

As they say in Hebrew: Cow, Cow. (Laugh now if you get the joke.) I must say that my uncle is pretty awesome for taking the time to teach me how to drive, and let me drive him around when we could, and not shout in my ear, “What do you think you’re doing!?!?!?!” as I have heard from other’s experiences with driving instructors that are less-than-forgiving about anything at all. Also, a shout out goes to my extended cousins in CT – for always showing me a good time when I come up there, and letting me practice driving around more with their car as well, so while I am now fairly comfortable behind the wheel, I am also aware of the danger that lies ahead.

So now that I have that squared away, anyone need a driver? 🙂

If ever you’ve had to sit down with your inner self and debate matters, then you know that it always depressing to figure out that there’s something wrong and that you want to change it.

Recently during some odd contemplative time, I’ve figured out that I enjoy the taste of food much more than the food itself.

That probably confused some of you, so let me explain.

I find myself in a position where I am overweight, and eventually take steps to rectify this. Steps? Joining a gym, eating healthier, trying to lose weight and “look good” – you know, the kind of good that after you’ve walked by makes women pause and savor the moment, so they can reminisce it later with their friends.

That kind of good.

So you go to the gym twice a week and get worked on for an hour by a trainer. You do all the things you’re supposed to, and nothing helps.

Sure, you drop a few pounds, and tone up some muscle, but there’s still that cuddly cushioning that will damn any man, especially if you can’t touch your toes – not because of the girth, but because of some weird leg inflexibility you probably developed due to major inactivity.

You go to the doctor, hoping that it might be something physiological, but (sadly?) it’s not. You only find out that you’re in pretty good health – but you need to exercise more. Duh. Don’t need years of schooling to tell me that.

So you drop the expensive diet, as it’s not really doing anything, and you go back to eating “health conscious” – salads, and the occasional Chinese take-out of something with tofu.

Then, you sit back one day and realize:

I don’t eat all that much, and when I do, I usually eat pretty decently.

But when I don’t…

I have found that I love the way things taste. The mixing and matching of textures and flavors os something amazing, and I will overeat something that tastes good – just to have some more of the taste, far past the point of sustainment.
I suppose that’s what ancient Greeks had in mind – they wanted to eat more of these delicious items, so off to the vomitorium with you! (I know I’m mixing Greeks and Romans, but I don’t care. Oh, and the fact that the vom is no place for this kind of activity. But it sounds cool.)

So now that I’ve figured that out, what do I do about it? There’s the simple method – go back to a strict diet and deprive myself of all that is delicious – but that’s absolutely no fun, not to mention extremely hard in New York City –
or figure something else out.

Another idea is to try to go the path of “eat only when hungry”, but that’s not healthy, as I’m told that the body will figure that out and store even more fat cells as a result.

There’s not a whole lot of options for someone who doesn’t want to put in piles of effort into shopping for food, preparing for one, and cleaning up the mess.

I’m totally hoping that someone ot there has a good idea – so feel free to shout it, shout it, shout it out loud.