Year: 2005

Ladies and gentlemen! It’s that time again, of course where everybody dresses up and puts on costumes and makeup, and proceed to make life miserable for me.
Thursday morning, I headed out to Betar, where my parents currently live. It is now become a tradition for my family and for other families to join together for the festival of Purim. The responsibility of arranging multiple alcoholic drinks for the lot of them falls to me.
Having a religion that allows for a son to get his parents completely drunk, no, not allows, encourages this kind of behavior seems a slightly disturbing to me. Am I the only one?
So lot of them managed to drink a lot of my tequila, and I walked out of there with a lighter backpack. I guess I should be happy that I allowed many people to rejoice in the services of the day, but it’s hard because I feel like when I visit them I’m returning to the ghetto.
The complete utter disregard of the law out there surprises even me. As we arrived, we saw a young child of about 11 years old light some sort of explosive firecracker, and hurled it towards a couple of police cars that had parked there.
So I went upstairs to visit and say hello to my mother, who was as always, overjoyed to see me. So we talked for a little bit, which always makes her happy, and then proceeded to load up the car and head over the feast’s host’s house. Arriving there we were the first ones to get there as usual. My father of the himself obviously, was all crazy about having to wash his hands before the feast, as according to him, one must wash their hands before 11:45 a.m. on Friday. This obviously just goes to enforce my belief that they are absolutely insane. So we wash, and sit down and have a few bites the while everyone else slowly rolls in. So after I’ve had my bagel and cream cheese that are oh so filling, and many other people have managed to arrive, I set about my task to get these people as drunk as they want to be.
This is actually easier said than done, as some of these people seem to have a hollow leg. There is much rejoicing and merriment as they are all absolutely stinking drunk by the end of the feast, and I begin to pack up my stuff in order to make it out and catch my bus back to Jerusalem.
Due to the fact that the bus schedules out of there are sketchy at best, I had to run to actually catch the bus to Jerusalem. As I boarded the bus. There were four identically dressed guys in the front row, who asked me for a handout. Now call me crazy, but I don’t believe that any custom of anybody requires me to give money arbitrarily to anyone who asked for it. Apparently, according to some weird custom, anyone who opens their hands is to be handed cash. Does this work on anyone can I asked my bank manager to just give me some money. Or how about Bill Gates? Sometimes the audacity of the customs in the religion drives me nuts.
By the time I got home I was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol as well. And the heat was not that forgiving, especially with me and my leather jacket. So after muscling my way up stairs and into my apartment, I managed to pass out on my bed.
A few hours later, after I had rested and felt ready to reacquaint myself with the universe, I stumbled into the shower and proceeded to take a lukewarm shower that probably damaged some nerve endings. Once moderately presentable and headed out to my friend Kilroy’s place where I had a pleasant dinner or comprising of sushi pasta and salads. Joe and Janet were there as well. We had a nice time together and eventually went home.
At home I got some sleep and woke up this morning refreshed and ready to go.
So this morning I completed bottling my final product of Bottled Sunshine, in anticipation of today’s Munchausen event. After that I sat down here to write this post, but not exactly write more like dictate the post, while battling the dictation software for creative control. Some things are immediately evident and work quite well however others are less easily recognize especially out of context. I can only hope that over extended time the software will improve its recognition of my voice and that I will learn how to speak in more flowing sentences.
I hope to have an update at the end of today, or at best early tomorrow and let you know how things are going.
Until next time, this is Mike.

Well, this is the first post I’m going to send to my live Journal, that has completely been dictated by voice.
I have just finished doing the basic set up of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, which is a voice recognition “speech to text” software package.
I hope that with extensive use and further training with this software package, I will be able to fully control and dictate to my computer.
It takes a little getting used to and out the outset requires a lot of monitoring and fixing, but I am confident that over the course of time, everything will work out okay.
At the moment it’s very late, and I need to get some sleep before tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning, I have another motorcycle lesson and need to be more or less awake for the lesson.
That pretty much wraps it up for tonight, I hope to post again sometime soon.

Countrymen, lend me your ears!

Now that’s aside, I need everyone’s cooperation for this.
This Thursday night, March 17th, Merkaz HaMagshimim Hadassah in Jerusalem is holding a “Comedy & Improv Beit Cafe” event.
Essentially, this is an excuse to get a bunch of people together, charge rather low admission, have an open bar. Oh, and be entertained.
What I want from everyone who reads this is:

1. Come to the event. It’s cheap, it’s fun, and I’m running it, so beware my wrath! Contact me if you are coming and need help getting to the event.
2. I need y’all to come up with content, as follows:
Everyone provide at least 2 different emotions.
Open a book, turn to the 42nd page, and give me the first line of dialog that appears. Please do this with at least 4 books. Please have this sent ASAP.
Finally, provide a couple of ideas – scenes – that you’d like seen played out. No idea is too wacky, but try to keep it clean.

Thank you all, and I look forward to seeing you at the event!

(x posted on )

So Wednesday night we went dancing for hours on end, and she’s really happy that I’m picking up the dances.
It’s loads of fun, and I completely wore out my legs and lungs doing some really fast stuff, which she loved.
After that, we headed over downtown to a little karaoke bar where we came to celebrate our dear friend Jane’s birthday. After lots of drink and merriment, we headed back, and I got dropped off.
I feel really bad for her, as she won’t be hearing back from her scools yet, and she’s agonizing about it. Truth told, I am kind of agonizing a bit too.
The uncertainty factor in what will happen over the next 3 years is pretty big, especially when it might mean that someone very important in your life would be leaving for that long. I don’t really know how I feel about that. Something to contemplate.
Anyhow, last night and dropped in, and we spent some time chatting and laughing.
She came over, and we retired to my room to watch Pirates of the Carribean, which I promptly fell asleep during, but she enjoyed it (again) and it was nice and mindless.
Here at work, I write these lines, and leaving in a moment to head home. I hope you all can relax this weekend, for next week I hope to finally finish this motorcycle license nonsense. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!

Woohoo!
So today I passed my written (theory) driving exam.
It’s a pass/fail – they don’t tell you if and what you got wrong, which isn’t that great of an idea, let me tell you.
Now I have 8 more driving lessons, and then a driving test. Unfortunately, taking a day off for the exam and scheduling 2 lessons for today didn’t work out – my instructor’s wife is giving birth – so I’ve scheduled the last 4 for Tuesday, Wednesday this week. Due to my boss being out of the office from Thursday, I won’t be able to take any lessons until he’s back, end of next week. At that time, I should probably be done with it, and hopefully get my license on Thursday.
No promises, but if that happens, I must celebrate! This has taken far longer than most motorcycle students, due to the crappy weather, scheduling conflicts, etc. It should soon be over, and then I have to investigate purchasing my own bike (and all the other stuff that comes with owning a bike).
Oh, another thought – anybody have a good idea how to break the news to the family? My eldest sister knows – she’s cool, but mom’ll just have a heart attack. I do NOT need more Jewish guilt that she is so capable of doling out.
Ideas, anyone?

So last night I dropped by the filksing over at ‘s and ‘s last night.
The list of attendees is fairly long, and most of you were there, so I needn’t enumerate.
At about 8pm yesterday, I had an idea rattling around in my head, and I decided to bring it to fruition and write the damned filk that I sang with some music backup.
Now, I’m by far no folk (or filk) expert. I come from the world of sex, drugs and rock & roll. (Yes, filkers, there is life beyond Buffy!) But I enjoy the rhythm and beat of rock & pop. So I took a song that had some promise, and completely ruined it. For those interested, it was Maroon 5’s “She Will Be Loved” which I murdered and made “I Did Drink Blood”. I believe that and both recorded it – you guys – I want copies!
After that atrocity was committed, I managed to drag out to the balcony where we proceeded to filk around on the spot to the tune of Mr. Big’s “To Be With You”. Needless to say, that was received with the lack of respect it deserved. So now, and I have done this twice, and will probably commit musical murder again.
Then, hanging out in the kitchen, and I began murdering “Everybody Ought to Have a Maid” from “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”. It was quite quaint and terrible, as filk should be.
If anyone wants any of the lyrics, drop me a line, and I’ll post them.
Cut for obvious reasons –
On the way out of the building, was sitting outside with some other person who apparently believes that I am the cause for her not coming to any kind of organizational gathering. I don’t have what she called “Fannish Spirit”, and went on about how boys just ignore her.
It was a little disturbing. The amount of subsurface hostility was evident, and I tried to just shrug it off. Well, people are people, and a lot of people just don’t have the people skills required for healthy human interaction.

So today I had a driving lesson early in the morning, and I drove the 50cc bike out to the lot, and the instructor decided it was time for me to get used to the real hog. The Yamaha XT 500cc, a nice heavy bike, modded for instruction purposes, at my disposal. A bit different from the scooter I had been driving. A LOT bigger, and WAAAAAY more powerful. Big difference – 5-gearshift, clutch, and the rear brakes are on the right foot.
He got on behind me, and had his own handles for clutch and brakes (mods). So we circled the lot a bit, so I could get a fell for the whole thing, and then he let me off on my own with this machine of power.
So, cruising around the lot, that was cool. But there was this religious dude who had no clue how to control a bike, or even some basic rules of practice lot conduct such as which direction NOT to go. Now admittedly, I made a bad call trying to circle by him on his right side while he was just standing there, but then he started rolling backwards towards my line of approach. I wavered, and the bike spilled and I bailed. No harm, no foul, but I was pissed at him. My instructor said that I have to be aware of potential situations and decide the best way to prevent any kind of danger. Didn’t matter, I was still a bit pissed.
I need a lot of work on the clutch, and even more on the amount of accelerator that I need to use to begin an uphill climb after a downhill coast, and don’t even get me started on gear shifting which hasn’t been introduced yet. All in good time.

After that, I made it home, did a touch of shopping, and then headed out into the Colony. While strolling to tons of good iPod-based tunes, I also called Shannon, and we met and went over to her folks’ place to water their plants while they’re away. After that, we went for some coffee, and then I walked her back home. All in all, it’s been a fairly good day.

Now I’m going to sink myself into some studying – driving theory – in hopes that I will take the test Sunday morning, pass, and then have some more driving lessons later that day.
If I’m good, and do well, feasibly I could have a license by the end of the week. The all I have to do is get a raise from work, and secure a loan from the bank and buy my own bike.
People of Jerusalem – beware!
Mike The Man will rule the streets again!

nicked from :

1. Go into your LJ’s archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions

helped me with some of the assembly, and it’s taking shape amazingly quickly.

Now, this could be misunderstood so many ways, that it’s not even funny.

So yesterday Shannon got back from the USA, and she had a great interview at one of the schools she wants to go to, and had not such a great time with her family.
So last night we went out for some coffee and she got to vent, and I really felt bad that she had to have such a harrowing experience. Some people don’t deserve the heartache they get.
We spent some time together, and enjoyed each other’s presence.
So this morning at about 8:20 I get a call from the driving school and ask me if I can make a 9am driving lesson. I can, so I get ready, wear my boots, contact lens, sunglasses etc.
When I get there, I got to ride the scooter by myself, following the instructor to the practice lot. I drove thru traffic like it was nothing!
In the practice lot, however, it was a different story altogether. I spent the lesson trying to make figure eights in a very tight turn, which was not very easy, I assure you.
Well, as fate would have it, today was the day that it began raining sufficiently to cause me to have an incident on the lot.
The asphalt got extremely slick, and on one turn, when I was leaning a bit too far to my right, I suddenly felt the tires lose traction, and I bailed. I mean I really bailed. Jumped as far back as I could, and let the bike continue the extra meter. It was pretty slow, and nothing happened to me other than a bit more ragged nerves, and the bike was fine.
A little after that, we headed back home, as the lot was just too slick for practice purposes.
I gotta admit, I loved the feeling of driving around, feeling the rumble of a bike, and freezing my nadgers. 🙂

It’s been a long day, and it’s not over yet. Pizza should arrive soon, and then I’m off to better places and experiences.

You are a Playboy. You perv.

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So here I am sitting on the top floor of Jerusalem’s Central Bus Station, awaiting the arrival of a traveling companion who will accompany me to Tel Aviv, where we are already late for a Con organizatgional comittee meeting.
I realize that I shouldhaveleft earlier, but I was having a nice relaxed weekend, and I wasn’t too keen on doing anything strenuous. I mean after all, watching many movies in sequence is tough enough.
I’m wondering how this year will progress, as it started out pretty crappily with Miluim and all, and another person at work is leaving for a better company. He told me that he can’t believe that I’m still there.
With the addition of a motorcycle into my life, I hope the added mobility and the lower travel costs will justify its existence. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up getting a license, and no bike. Who knows what’ll happen?
The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills.

So I just had my first motorcycle driving lesson.
I understand the craze, the rush, the feeling.
The instuctor drove us over to an open lot in Talpiot, where he commenced explainign the basics and all, and then let me start doing laps around the lot, making nice left turns all the way.
After a bit, he then showed me where to slalom around, and left me to have fun.
So I slalomed. And slalomed some more. Getting a feel for the bike, he then set me to make sharp left turns, and after a lot of that, set me to doing figure eights.
There’s the tricky bit. Keeping a tight figure eight without dropping your foot on the first lesson ain’t easy. It’s also difficult for me on the 50cc bike we were using, a my natural inclination in to clench my knees together, and the bik I was using had no main body, which was a little disconcerting.
All in all, it was fairly cold, and my next lesson I’ll still be on the small bike to practice my control and turns.
Whohoo!
Now how do I tell Shannon that I’m driving a motorcycle?
On another note, a

cut here.